Pardon My French
by death-in-the-orchard
Summary: Pip and Alucard...what more can I say? ...within the Manga plot, OVA III...I wrote this back in May...


"Wake up."

Alucard looked across the hotel room and his eyes narrowed as they fell on the body that rested on the bed. His boots were silent on the hard wood floor as he made his way towards the sleeping mercenary. The vampire stopped next to the bed, by Pip's head.

"Mr. Bernadette."

The body didn't even flinch, so, leaning forward, Alucard took the man's shoulder and shook it sharply. Suddenly, arms shot out and secured themselves around Alucard's waist. Red eyes widened in surprise, and the vampire was pulled down into the mattress and his lips were parted when he suddenly found himself on the mercenary's chest and a toughened hand was running through his hair. He felt the man's chest move as he smiled, still sleeping, and Pip shifted Alucard so that he was on top of the vampire. His lips moved to Alucard's and his hands slid up from the vampire's waist. Pip chuckled huskily, surfacing from his sleep.

"Miss Seras Victory, you…" he kissed Alucard again but froze when he felt, or rather didn't feel what he had expected to find. He opened his eyes in confusion and stared at the flat chest, noticing the disheveled attire and partially removed trench coat. He slowly shifted his gaze to the shocked face beneath him and he paled, gaping at the vampire.

"M…Mr. Alucard?" he stammered with a nervous, twitching smile. "You've got to be joking."

Alucard continued to stare at him, bewildered by what had just happened while Pip was struggling to comprehend how this could have occurred. He frowned, almost feeling annoyance.

"You're too thin, Mr. Alucard. It's very feminine."

All Pip remembered was a growl and he was flung across the room and hit the wall. When he woke up, he was in a crummy, cramped hotel room. He groaned as he sat up, rubbing his messy braid and moving his legs so that they hung off the side of the bed. Pip got up and went to the mini fridge he saw in the corner of the room next to the TV. Pulling out a beer, he grabbed the remote from the top of the TV and plopped back down on the edge of the mattress, clicking on the TV as he did so. The news channel switched on. Soon the beer he had been drinking dripped from the surface of the screen, coating the face of the police girl and her master.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Damn it!" he ran around the room for a moment, trying to remember where he had put his luggage. He found it on the bed next to where he had been sleeping, though he couldn't even remember how he had gotten here from the vampire's hotel. He overlooked this and began to get ready.

Pip watched from the helicopter as the vampire glanced up from the roof of the hotel. Miss Victoria was smiling at him, but he was distracted as Alucard didn't appear to even notice him. The kidnapped driver looked at the mercenary nervously as the gun went to the back of his head.

"He's talking to himself?" Pip muttered, watching the dark figure. He noticed the black jumpsuit, constructed of leather belts, with a raise of his eyebrows. The leather showed off the vampire's lean body and Pip frowned.

"Ah!" he scowled and looked at the hotel itself for a moment. "I have to get the damn coffins!" His green eyes went to the pilot and he ordered the man to land, with a smile. As the helicopter lowered, he found himself looking at Alucard again. He looks…so sad…Pip's jaw tightened and he looked away after this thought. "Coffins, coffins…damn they're heavy. The vampire's should carry the boxes of dirt themselves."

Walking down the hall, Pip stopped as he made himself concentrate harder to try and remember what had happened earlier that day. A growl and a bruise…the mercenary sighed and then grimaced as he opened the door to Sir Integra's office to give her his report and hours worth of paperwork. He tried to explain that he had no idea what happened after he dropped the vampires off at the hotel room, though he remembered everything after he woke up in his own room and saw the news report. His only excuse was that he had been tired and then may have hit his head at some point in time. He showed her the bruise even though it made him feel stupid. Blue eyes analyzed the black spot and Pip started when the female Hellsing stood up and walked over to him.

She put her face closer to his and her eyes narrowed. "This wouldn't cause memory loss." She bit her lip, ignoring how uncomfortable the mercenary was at the moment. "Did you say you remember a growl?"

"Alucard." Integra spoke quietly behind her desk and her hands lay folded before her. Walter was by the window, as was Pip who was staring at the floor dreading the consequences that might come if he got Alucard in trouble and the vampire chose to seek revenge. He shuddered, missing the question Integra had asked, but he heard the vampire's answer.

"I did erase his memories and I admit that I am the source of the injury."

Six eyes blinked in surprise at the calm figure. Integra frowned in irritation.

"I ORDERED you not to hurt or kill any of them. How dare you disobey me?"

"I didn't mean to. It was a reflex."

Integra's face deadened with disbelief. "You unconsciously erased his memories?"

"Somewhat." Alucard's mouth tightened to a line for a moment. "It was self defense to some extent."

"You want me to believe that he would be stupid enough to…?" Integra almost snarled, her anger rising as she couldn't help but see lies in these explanations, but Pip cut in.

"I would never blatantly attack you." He glared at Alucard, but apprehension began to come over him as he saw the cold eyes of the vampire.

"You were sleeping and I tried to wake you up."

There was a pause and all eyes looked at Pip, finding that the pieces were falling together. Pip frowned. "I may have some defensive reflexes when I wake up, but I can control them and have never injured anyone who was not an enemy…"

"You thought I was the police girl." The humans started and the words became lies once more in their minds.

"That's absurd! I would never hurt her!" Pip clenched his fist, enraged by the accusation and his respect for the vampire plummeted. Integra glared at Alucard while Walter gave him a confused look.

"I then threw you at the wall, partly due to a postponed reflex to the second time you kissed me."

Silence. Wide eyes looked at the vampire, not understanding what had been said for a moment.

"It..it was t…that kind of attack…Mr. Alucard?" Pip stared at Alucard, paling each passing second.

"Yes." Alucard stated calmly and nodded to Integra before leaving through the wall.

Integra and Walter slowly turned to face the mercenary, skeptical about why he still had his head attached or why he wasn't impaled on a flag pole. Pip, meanwhile, fainted.

"Why didn't you stop me at the first kiss!" Pip yelled, venting his built up anger as he stood in front of Alucard in the dungeon. The vampire watched from his throne, expressionless.

"I was a bit surprised…and didn't react as I usually would have…which would have been to blow off your head. I could do it right now though, if you insist on annoying me." The mercenary hesitated at the low voice.

"Never mind." Pip replied quickly and turned around to leave, but as he looked at the stairs that went to the door his eyes unfocused and his mind went back to his newly recovered memories and of Alucard's sadness on the roof of the hotel. "I'm sorry, Mr. Alucard."

Pip didn't receive an answer.

"I've never had that happen with one of my bosses before."

Alucard blinked as his mouth fell to a frown. "I'm not your employer or supervisor. Integra Hellsing is."

Pip's mouth formed an 'o' for a moment and he turned his eyes away from the vampire. He straightened when he realized that this was his first time in the vampire's 'room'/dungeon. "You live in here?" he asked without thinking.

"That's a little obvious."

"Yeah."

Alucard watched as the mercenary began to make a wide arch around the room, looking at the stone. The vampire couldn't tell if he purposely stopped next to his chair, or if it was by random chance, but he watched without saying a word.

"It's a bit empty."

Alucard's silence continued and Pip flinched when he realized he was standing right next to him. He looked down, a little surprised, but he recovered quickly.

"Do you even know what my position within this organization is, Mercenary?" Alucard was looking up into the green eyes that widened at his words, caught off guard.

"You hunt vampires and you fight the millennium group…" Pip's voice left him as a fanged smile reflected in his eyes. Alucard folded his hands on his knee as his legs were crossed.

"I'm the slave, Mr. Bernadette. I was defeated and captured and have been serving the Hellsing family for one hundred years or so now." He chuckled at the aghast expression he received. "That is why the room is empty, though my Master would probably provide me with something to fill it, but I have no need or inclination to do so."

"Slave? It's illegal, at least in England…"

"I'm not human."

Pip's eyes widened and then returned to normal as he digested the information. "What of…"

"The police girl is a member of the Hellsing organization, much like Walter. I am a slave as a gun would be to its owner. That doesn't mean I'm ill-treated or disregarded, but refrain from the misconception that you are here on my whim. My Master's order both keeps you here and your head attached to your neck."

Pip blinked and looked at the vampire for several moments before he left the cell.


End file.
